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Dumb. And Also Dumber. - yummy turtle

About Dumb. And Also Dumber.

Previous Entry Dumb. And Also Dumber. Mar. 17th, 2009 @ 03:06 pm Next Entry
I just had to run an errand, and ugh, Livejournal Land, the roving hordes. The roving green hordes of tourists in their dumb leprechaun beards. The blockades and the shamrock necklaces and the already-drunk-ery. WHY.

Now, never let it be mouthed that I am not an avowed fan of both drunkery and stupid costumes. I am. I love both loudly and vehemently. And yet, today's sanctioned festival o'shame bothers me to such a degree that I don't even understand myself anymore. Either a) I'm getting old, or b) those people are being douchebags. Or maybe c) I just want to state for the record that I, like most white persons who live in the United States, also have an ancestor or two who once lived in Ireland, and I have never claimed to be Irish. And I would like for more people to take my lead on that. Born in America = American. Unless, you know, your family really is from another country and you just happened to randomly be born here. Or whatever. I suppose I can't relate because my family's been in America since before the Revolution, so I have no ability to seek out and claim a more intriguing ethnicity, even if I were inclined to.

Finally, I can currently hear bagpipes, from my office 16 stories up, and it is distressing.

Am I being a huge, no-fun-pants killjoy? Maybe. I just deeply do not get the appeal of this celebration. I guess it's pretty cool that the Irish are not the pariahs they were in the 19th century anymore, since now everyone's Irish!, but the whole thing just feels very ick. To say nothing of the actual ick that's going to get all over the sidewalks of my city today. I'm going home after work and get some cleaning done.

Does anyone want to wear the complainer's apron? I'm all done with it. For now. I'll need it back before Cinco de Mayo, obviously.

In less shaking-fist-at-the-sky news, I don't know if Snickers is currently waging a viral marketing campaign in all corners of the earth, like they are in NYC, but hereparts, they've gobbled up quite a lot of MTA adspace to advance the concept that Snickers will cure hunger. To wit: "Make an appointment for a HUNGERECTOMY," "Get a degree in SNACKONOMICS," and (dumbest), "Take a dip in the CHOCOLANTIC OCEAN."

Now, although most of these ads make me feel that I am getting DUMBGRY, I still stare at them whenever I see them because that is how viral marketing works: you are assaulted with the ads and defied not to look at them. And I do my bit as dutiful sheeplike consumer and I stare at them. And this morning, I saw:

doctor-feedzmore


It took me a minute. I gawped northward, mind churning furiously: "... feed me, Seymour?" and "...Doctor Feelgood?" and "WHAT IS THIS REFERENCE?" and then it hit me.

Dr. Z.

And after that, I went "Ha-ha!" Out loud. During my otherwise-quiet commute. Well-played, Snickers. You have convinced me to eat your candy.
engage
From:(Anonymous)
Date:March 17th, 2009 10:05 pm (UTC)
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It is quite astonishing, the reach of Dr. Z in cultural literacy. One of the animatronics at Jekyll & Hyde made a reference to him once.
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From:darksheik
Date:March 17th, 2009 10:09 pm (UTC)
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D'oh! That was me.
Also, congratulations on making another -GRY word. There were previously only three:

ANGRY
HUNGRY
PUGGRY (A light scarf wound around a hat or helmet to protect the head from the sun)
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From:indigosarah
Date:March 17th, 2009 10:33 pm (UTC)
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I am also a killjoy.

Coworker: Let's go to a BAR tonight, guys! An Irish bar!

Me: Isn't it sound policy to AVOID Irish bars today??
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From:indigosarah
Date:March 17th, 2009 10:35 pm (UTC)
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And for the record? I am of Irish descent; my grandfather's parents came here from Ireland. ;)
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From:wickedrad79
Date:March 17th, 2009 10:41 pm (UTC)
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I have my own traditions to celebrate St Patrick's Day, none of which involve drinking, (avoiding my mom's corned beef and cabbage, catching a little bit of QVC's St Patrick's celebration sell-a-thon parading about Irish people selling Irishy things, eating Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide, etc), to mark my wee bit o'Irish heritage. I do it for myself, ever since my first grade teacher looked at me on St. Patrick's Day as I proclaimed my partial Irish heritage, and condescendingly said "Oh, yes, today we ALL are Irish" to humor me, because I'm not white enough to possibly be Irish at all, I suppose.

Also, I am actually going to Ireland next week, so I'm trying not to let American St. Patrick's Day mess with my head too much.
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From:barryhjr
Date:March 17th, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC)
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Since our paternal ancestors are Scottish we have a natural resentment of the Irish for their drinking ability, and for being the actual inventors of the kilt. Golf and fried candy bars are about it for claims to fame in Scotland. And Sean Connery of course, but he can't act for shit so it doesn't really help to bring him up.
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From:gleep_glop
Date:March 18th, 2009 03:16 am (UTC)
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In my world, that campaign is kind of embarrassing. I even bet the Feedzmore thing is just a fluke. All egghead, no wit.
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From:lost_dreamer44
Date:March 18th, 2009 12:10 pm (UTC)
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As a barely second-generation Irish-American (my family's been in America for less than 55 years, and I have more family in Ireland than I do here) I HATE St. Patricks Day. My receptionist even went so far as to say that St. Paddy was a leprechaun. Um, no. Try...Patron Saint of Ireland.

I actually started a major uproar among friends when I vehemently stated my complete disdain for this holiday.
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From:dabneyd
Date:March 18th, 2009 08:31 pm (UTC)
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Oh, was that shit yesterday? I didn't notice the HUNDREDS of people long line outside of my local Irish bar. Frat-tastic!
(engage)
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